Dating Countdown for Men

Listen up all you males looking for women! 



The Author Donald R Barbera

The results are in and clearly, there are some things men need to avoid on the dating scene. Here are the top ten turnoffs for women you might be hoping to date along with some advice from both men and women that may help you avoid being turned down, talked about behind your back and worse, being talked about to your face.  In a recent survey I conducted where I asked what makes some men un-dateable and the poll participants didn’t bite their tongues or pull any punches. Moving right into the survey all you men that don’t practice good hygiene:

1. James Brown can make it funky, but funky men are out! Neither men nor women want to be with you or even around you. Out of all the categories, stinky men stunk up the joint so bad that second place wasn’t even close. This is a “we’re number one” rating you don’t want. If you have real friends they should let you know that you need to bathe and use deodorant. Tied in with aromatic repellents was bad breath. If your breath is strong enough to do chin-ups on, you have a problem. It might be  a sigtn of a dental problem. If that is the case get off your ass and get yourself to the dentist's office. Otherwise, a toothbrush is too easy to find and use. Nowadays, they even have miniature toothbrushes in a package that easily fits into your pocket. It already has toothpaste on it. All you have to do is USE it! So, there is no reason to go anyplace with dragon breath.
2. All you saggers and draggers let it be known that no one wants to see your nasty ass! Young gay men in the poll said it looked nasty and ghetto. Women came down hard saying that saggers looked like prison chain-gang members you see on the side of the road picking up trash. Although profiling by the police is forbidden, we all know it happens and saggers invite police attention. If yo0u don't want to constantly be on Law & Order, get smart--pull up your draws! Interestingly, COPS regularly shows footage of saggers trying to run with one hand holding up their pants and losing the foot race as their pants turn them into crippled penguins.
3. You like to drink? The survey says you put your dating life in serious jeopardy with too much drinking. Being drunk is unacceptable and usually unforgiveable. So, while you get your drink on there are women watching you and crossing you off their list of potential candidates. Drinking was one of the most repeated items that made a man un-dateable. Combined with this category were illegal drugs. "Childish and foolish" were the two things said most often about men involved with illegal drugs. With the job market as flimsy as it is men need clear heads and mind.
4. Underemployed men came in fourth. Women don’t like single men without a job. Of course, that means that if you have no money, you have no chance. Women don’t like a broke-ass man. Combined with unemployed, lack of ambition and lazy were definitely were one-way tickets to “kicked to the curb.” Even worse were men unwilling to work. This entire group ranked among the useless and worthless crew. Included in this hot mess were men with no plans and no goals. Is the message dropping through? Figure out something to do with your life including work! It's hard out there for a pimp, but a pimp is working. Find you some honest work. Manual Labor is a visitor from south of the border, it is--let me make an introduction--meet a job!
5. Fingernails hit it big! Everything from dirty fingernails and chewed fingernails to one long finger nail on the little finger and clear fingernail polish put men on the endangered species list. Many that supplied comments said hands were the first things they looked at when talking to a man. Gentlemen wash your bleeping hands and trim your damn nails. If you have the money, get a manicure. By the way, the long fingernail on the pinky played out with Superfly. Long nails belong on women and animals, otherwise keep them short and clean.
6. Men hooked on sports. This one came as surprise, but evidently plenty of women see it as a problem. Of course, body painting for sports events is a no-no, but men over-involved in watching sports is a turn off to many women as the ranking shows. Attitudes because your team lost are seen as childish, as is screaming at the television and wearing clothes better suited for the gym or college reunion. A sports weekend is a waste of relationship time. Friday night football, Saturday College football and Sunday pro football may make you happy, but when hoping to date a woman, it’s like garlic breath—it keeps everyone away.
7. Nasty homes or apartments. You'll never get her back to your place again if you are a nasty housekeeper. Nastiness includes unwashed clothes stacked around like decoration, filthy toilets and no toilet paper, dirty showers and stains that have a carbon date. Not washing your hands when leaving the bathroom is a killer. Dude, women have eyes, ears and noses and can smell a nasty ass a mile away. Cars caught some of the displeasure with this one as most said a nasty car inside or out was a definite date killer. This one should be easy to avoid, but some of you are pigs and the only farm animals that interest women are on Facebook’s Farmville or a cash cow.
8. Got a filthy mouth? Then scratch yourself off the list. Cursing demonstrates low intelligence, bad manners and disrespect to many women. Your titty bar raps need to stay there and it would probably be a good idea for you to do the same. Foul language is for the birds and definitely inhibits dating. Wise up and shut up!
9. Mean dogs or girlie dogs didn’t light any fires on the survey. Rottweiler’s, Pit Bulls, Dobermans and other dogs known to be vicious kill the romantic cycle.  Little “girlie” dogs for a man were also considered a turn off. German Shepherds and Labs were well-liked. A word to the wise is usually sufficient, but for the unusually dense don’t buy a dog that you can’t take to the park in peace and maybe attract a few women your way.
10. If your mama runs your life—forget about it! Mama’s boys are as good as kryptonite with Superman; they repel women like the Orkin man. A man that checks on his mother is admired while a man that follows motherly advice concerning women is like limburger cheese—nice taste but repulsive.

Cheer up men because there are some women that will date any of these types, but when you seek a woman of quality, according to those surveyed you won't even make the short list. Like I said , there are women who will date you even with all of the above problems, BUT know this, a woman that puts up with more than three of these things might make you sorry you ever said a word. And that's all I got to say about that. Next week, we’ll look at what turns men off about women when it comes to dating!